The Real Cause of Global Warming

Before we get too far on the new Climate Crusade, let’s ask one simple question: What’s the biggest difference between summers now and summers in the early 1960s? AIR CONDITIONING! Think about it. How many people had air conditioners or air-conditioned cars in those days? There were so few of them they were a prestige item. Some people even drove around with their windows shut just to make people think they had a/c.

During those years and all the ones before then, nobody had a/cs and no one talked about global warming. So obviously, that there is some connection between air conditioning and global warming.

“But don’t they cool?” you ask.

“Yes,” I say, “but where?”

“Inside,” you answer.

“That’s right,” I say,” but where does global warming occur?”

“Outside,” you answer reluctantly.

“There,” I say, “that proves it. A/Cs and global warming are connected.”

You look puzzled, so I explain: Air conditioning takes the hot air out of the inside and dumps it in the outside. So what you get is all this extra-warm air from inside being pumped out on top of air that’s already there and already warm. The result? A multiple warming effect:

1. The warmer inside air warms the outside air around it until they’re both equal in temperature (8th-grade physics, Mr. J. Lupton Simpson, teacher, Lincoln High School (there were no middle schools in those days, you went from grammar school to high directly (some people do this today but in a different way))).
2. This process is done with electric motors, and everyone who’s had 8th-grade physics knows that motors generate heat when they run.
3. Air on top of air = more air piled up in the same space = higher pressure, and (again with the physics) higher pressure produces higher temperatures.
4. Plus, higher air pressure means we don’t get rain, (I don’t know why, ask the weather people and see if they can get something right for a change) which makes things really dry, which makes things even hotter.

So who’s the bad guy here? Some poor man or woman trying to feed the family by selling air conditioners? Of course not! It’s the ones who keep asking for the car and home a/cs—It’s you! You’re the one at fault.

            “What about you?” you say to me.

            “Nope,” I say to you. “Not me. I don’t have to buy an air conditioner; I already have one, and it’s central, which means the hot inside air goes into my attic and doesn’t bother the outside air. Nice try, though.”

I pause to let you recover, then “Do you want to know how furnaces, heat pumps, and other heating devices do the same thing, only differently?”

But I see you have already fled the scene, too stunned with my impeccable reasoning to stick around.