Back in the 80s, everyone who was everyone predicted that computers would eliminate the flood of paperwork coursing through the business world. As any of you who is still alive today may have noticed, this has not been the case. On the contrary, instead of being eliminated, paperwork has multiplied. Since the current investigation of a conspiracy by paper farmers is expected to last another six months, this means there is no solution on the horizon. Therefore, I offer the following filing techniques as ways you can cope with the paper onslaught:
Method #1. Filing in the Round: (A.k.a., the old circular file method, listed here for sake of completeness.) Throw everything away. Blame the temp or the last person who was downsized out if anyone complains.
Method #2. Pile Filing: Put everything into one pile. Add new papers to the top as necessary. Hope the bottom turns to mulch before you need anything.
Method #3. Random Filing: Just file it….anywhere. Your job is to file it; it’s someone else’s to find it. This system has two great attributes – speed and security: no time wasted in silly sorting, and the chances of a corporate spy finding something are no greater than any employee’s.
Method #4. Filing on the FYI: Secure one of those big brown envelopes that circulate endlessly through the company. Get the names of 12 people you don’t know (or don’t like) from your company directory and put them on the envelope; Insert the papers that need to be filed with a note marked “FYI”, and dump the package in the internal mail drop.
Method #5. Right Filing: Put things where they belong. Use only as a last resort or when someone has been assigned to check your work.
Good luck, happy filing, and always remember:
